wahoo! I'm finished! and less than two hours past my goal time of 3pm! I mean, I even got down and dirty, i got newsprint on my hands.

i walked outside. but then i decided to take a break and sit down in the grass and listen to one song. gah, what a fool am i, the grass was all wet. thus my shorts were as well.

oh blah

now i have to go play The Sims which my little sister has been seriously yanking my arm to do this weekend. i mean i like The Sims, but i hate it when she watches me and tells me what to do. gah! its rather funny, i should tell you about it sometime.

good luck to all those in Spanishland

enough of this foolishness. pepperoni and mood rings, indeed.

RELIENT K ROCKS!RELIENT K ROCKS!RELIENT K ROCKS!

ok, will stop.

haha, my projects are due tomorrow, and I'm not done!! I blame Pirates of the Carribean.

listening to any song in the whole world at Barnes and Noble is very awesome. Especially if you don't have anywhere to be. Very Especially if you should be at home doing projects.

but, seriously folks, my projects aren't that huge. and i have a good head start on them, which is uncharacteristically(sp?) fantastic!

well, now i must go meet Mr. Treadmill. or maybe i will walk outside. either way, adios

PEPPERONI!!!!

have been in weird strange mood lately. that or I have a lack of motivation.

yeah, that's it

so I know someone who is on Atkins. it really does affect everyone. make it stop, oh make it stop!

have hotel reservations for Sonshine. its becoming a reality!!!!

"and now the worst freestyle rapper, EVER!!

apples are green and carrots are orange and then you go and then you go...wait, what rhymes with orange? oh i really am bad at this, let me try...

no dude, you're done!"

that my friends, is Relient K. And this is me saying goobye. "goobye"

mood rings don't just change colors with your mood, they also turn your finger green!!

"mood ring, oh mood ring, oh tell me will you bring the key to unlock this mystery of girls and their emotions play it back in slow motion so i may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind..."

Relient K is so goofy.

what? it's only Wednesday?

am v. tired. keep intending to go to bed early, but intentions aren't worth much if nothing comes of them.

am eagerly counting the days of school left.
am miserably counting the days of school left.
i wish i couldn't count.

my poor little bird.

"Home" by Switchfoot

It's a long way from Miami to LA
It's a longer way from yesterday
To where I am today

It's a long way from my thoughts
To what I'll say
It's a long, long way from paradise
To where I am today

All that's in my head
Is in Your hands

It's a long way from
The moon up to the sun
It's a longer ahead of me
The road that I've begun

Stop to think of all the
Time I've lost
Start to think of all the
Bridges that I've burned
That must be crossed

Over, over, over
Take me over

I've been poison
I've been rain
I've been fooled again

I've seen ashes
Shine like chrome
Someday I'll see home

Home, home

I can see the stars
From way down here
But I can't fall asleep
Behind the wheel

It's a long way from the
Shadows in my cave
Up to Your reality to
Watch the sunlight taking over

Over, over, over
Take me over

I've been poison
I've been rain
I've been fooled again

I've seen ashes
Shine like chrome
Someday I'll see home

Home, home

have had stunningly good weekend. and to think I thought I was going to be impending-graduation-induced-miserable the whole weekend.

-Ilana and I are going to Sonshine Fest!! Does it get any better?!?
-finally resolved issues with an old friend
-nearly finished with all announcements pertaining to graduation (gah, am sick of licking envelopes and sifting through my year-old senior pictures!)
-saw Shrek 2!
-watched the Scarlet Pumpernickel

not the Scarlet Pimpernel, its Pumpernickel, with Daffy Duck. unfortunately, he doesn't say, "Sink Me!"

the weird thing about my senior pictures is that they don't look much like me anymore, since have chopped hair.

go see Shrek 2. It's awesome.

also go see the pictures of Alex's Electric Chair on his blog. It's very cool, and I don't think it will be used in executions.
:-D

well, anyway, I hope i don't completely forget about honors ap. essay and homework. oh well, there is still tomorrow...

woot. am in WP class and done with all work. hoo-yah
however, realized have to take this final. shoo-yah

the world is still going crazy, however I'm caught up in Huck Finn! (At least for now anyways.) Am looking foward to much welcomed weekend.

Isn't this weird? I've been to Toronto, several places in California, Florida, and places in between, but I have never stood in the doorframe over there. Or sat in that chair. And it's right there.

and now, For and From my latest Inspirations.

"Concrete Girl" by Switchfoot

Bleeding thoughts
Cracking boulder
Don't fall over

Fake your laughter
Burn the tear
Sing it louder
Twist and shout

Way up here
We stand on shoulders
Growing colder

Laugh or cry
I won't mind
Sing it louder
Twist and shout

Immovable shadows
The concrete girl
They'll rock your world to nothing

And they're swimming around again, again
And they're swimming around
The concrete girl

Catch your breath like four-leaf clover
Hand it over

Scream to no one
Take your time
Sing it louder
Twist and shout

Nothing to run from is worse than something
And all your fears of nothing

And they're swimming around again, again
And they're swimming around
The concrete girl

Concrete girl don't fall down
In this broken world around you
Concrete girl don't fall down
Don't fall down my concrete girl

Don't stop thinking
Don't stop feeling now

One step away from where we were
And one step back to nothing

And we're standing on top of our hopes and fears
And we're fighting for words now concrete girl
And we're swimming around again, again
And we're swimming around now
Concrete girl

Concrete girl don't fall down in this broken world around you
Concrete girl don't fall down
Don't fall down my concrete girl

Concrete girl don't fall down in this concrete world around you
Concrete girl don't fall down
Don't break down my concrete girl

huh. so got yearbook today, and in French class I hesitantly allowed a mere junior to look at it, and within ten seconds her junior friends were huddled around it. Did not get it back until fifteen minutes later. But was in class, so wasn't going to look at it anyway! Don't you just hate situations like that?

So, was going to get online later last night, after everything, but realized am waaay behind in Huckleberry Finn, so I laid on my bed with my book and told self would read until 10:30. Well, at about 10:10, I realized how tired I was and therefore thought it would be OK to just close my eyes for a second. Well, apparently that second lasted 50 minutes, because I think I woke up to my mom asking me if i had my contacts still in, but I am still not sure if she was really there or i was responding to a dream. Ha, so am still behind in book, which seems to take a long time to read.

Gah, I need to do something tonight. Feel like have accomplished nothing at all this whole week, and school is more stimulating than it was last week, ie I don't play trivial pursuit. I have a few projects and I am coming to the realization that I actually have to do them, so I better get to it. And I have a geography test tomorrow...

My mom is planning a garage sale this weekend, and that means I need to get some of my old stuff in there too. Everything pertaining to graduations seems to be impending too. I'm driving my mom crazy. She's driving me crazy.

The world's gone mad. Kinda.

read a lot of switchfoot lyrics today.

"You" by Switchfoot

There's always something
in the way
There's always something
getting through
but it's not me
it's You, it's You

sometimes ignorance
rings true
but hope is not in
what i know
it's not in me..me
it's in You, it's in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

i find peace when
i'm confused
i find hope when
i'm let down
not in me ... me
in You
it's in you

i hope to lose myself
for good
i hope to find it in the end
not in me ... me
in You
in You
in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

in You
in You
its in You
its in You

there's always something in the way
there's always something getting through
but it's not me
it's You
it's You
it's You ....

yay! am working tonight. finally. was a nice break tho.

learned a few things today...
-our class is more or less responsible than I thought
-Alex buys pizza everyday for lunch even though he doesn't want to
-I will be v. busy on June 5th visiting people's open houses. V.
-new jeans are freaking fantastic
-good time to check email is 6:15 am. of course, if can rouse self.
-"surprise" is spelled as such instead of "suprise," which i thought was right.
-it's v. difficult to understand Jim in Huckleberry Finn. But perhaps I already knew that...

i saw the quote up top in a magazine and thought it was cool...but i was thinking doesn't everyone change, thus all the people, ie "the world?" so thought i could fairly answer the question easily. but it puts situations in a new perspective. and isn't it radical to think about if you change with the world, then what if you didn't live in the world, would you stay the same? but then would you change from the "antiworld"? I guess everything changes, everyone changes (well, those that have open minds...but you can't do whatever everyone else does for goodness sake) for good or bad or just different. because...

ow. my brain hurts. s.u.m.m.e.r.p.l.e.a.s.e.

you know, i put that quote at the top of the page like last Thursday or something. Little did i know i would be asking myself a very similar question the next evening. It is essentially a rhetorical quesion asked by Morrissey of The Smiths. He has some other good ones too.

check out the new link. art...in ABC Gum.

wow. so, it's been awhile. well, nothing is better than mindless garbage. I guess I need to drink more Mountain You; get going on with whats happenin wit me. hoo-yah.

Yay! Today I get a haircut. It's kinda strange because when my hair was reeely long I, well, never cut it. So this maintenance trim is foreign to me. But that's ok, it is getting longer and Blah-er. I like it short. I see pictures of me with looong hair and i say, "How did I do it?"

Go see Troy. It's a good movie. They must have all drunk many liters of Smite, as much smoting occurs.

ooo. Ilana gave me a CD with lots of FIF songs. I went on a walk the other day and brought it with me. Its v. good, and "On Distant Shores" and "See The Flames begin to Crawl" are v. excellent excellent to tha infinity songs.

Am currently listening to "On Fire" by Switchfoot, which I haven't heard for a few weeks. So Lovely.

WAAAHOOO!!! Sonshine Festival 2004...hope can go, hope have $$$$$$$!!!

bye!!!!

so. school. I go there every day. what do I do there?

play trivial pursuit. which I am so bad at. Yet today, I knew the answer was "netiquitte," which was exciting.

but, I get to see everyone, which made me happy that today was only Wednesday, and not Thursday which I kept thinking it was.

bear with me, i have nothing else to think about.

ooh. now have haloscan link at the bottom of the page...am tickled with excitement. perhaps someday i will master the (however simple) html!

here is a good song by John Mayer. a good self-examination song.

"Why Georgia" by John Mayer

I am driving up 85
in the kind of morning
that lasts all afternoon
im just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment
but I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

Cuz I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am i living it right
am i living it right
am i living it right
why why georgia, why

I rent a room and i fill the spaces
with wood in places to make it feel like home
but all i feel's alone

might be a quarter life crisis
justa a stirrin in my soul

either way
i wonder sometime about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am i living it right
am i living it right
am i living it right
why why georgia why

so what so i've got a smile on
its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
dont believe me
dont believe me
when i say ive got it down

everybody's just a stranger
but that's the danger in
going my own way
i guess it's a price i have to pay
still everything happens
for a reason
its no reason not to ask myself

if i'm living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right


why tell me why---
why why georgia why

woooo...new blogger. am v. impressed, but am also kinda lost. oh well...

and the winner is... SMITE!!!!

who knew that something like "smite" could be so popular? Just don't do what I almost did and go to Wendy's and order a "Smite," the poor person will be confused; especially if you are brandishing a sword and have smoted the people who were in front of you in line because you needed a hamburger NOW!

what about "Dr. Salt?" mwahahaha ("ooh, rejected on the drawing board!!")

I don't know if any of you noticed how much I clashed today, but Hey! thats ok. Its a new trend, brown shirts with pink and yellow on it with red shoes and green socks! ha he ha, fantastical!

So, in French today, someone said gas was $2.05. Whaaaa!!! I didn't buy gas last night after work because i just didn't want to, and now it went way up!! So after school drove by the gas station across the street who sold it for $1.99. Eventually bought it there....but is funny because its ridiculously high, yet bought it "cheap."

went to TGIFridays the other day to eat, and they had electric towel dispensers in the bathroom. Wow.

news to all those who have seen Mean Girls.....the girl who plays Regina is 26 years old!!

Ciao!

hooray! the lilacs are coming out!

VOTE!!!!!!!

ok, what do you think of these new soft beverages.....

--7yup (makes you agree to everything)
--Joke-a-Cola (makes you tell jokes nonstop)
--Diet-Joke (makes you tell lame jokes, like knock-knock jokes)
--Mountain You (makes you talk about yourself incessantly)
--Smite (will cause you to brandish a sword and smite someone...causing you to have smote someone)
--PEP-si (you will become waaaaaaaaay too happy, somewhat resembling a high cheerleader)

vote!
i dare you to come up with better!!

haha, so, weak dare :-)

Have such great friends.

ok. so dumped yesterday. after i blogged i was sitting and fought the impulse to go and delete it. after all, blogs are not permanent, even though memories are. but then thought of what Ilana said and how not to live life with regrets. After all, if you don't take a shot at something, how do you know if you can succeed, or will reach someone?

I guess that is life. And reality. And its always going to be present. I guess we'd better get on with it.

Thank you to everyone.

was going to put a song here, but just read INCREDIBLE (oh its just SO amazing...unbelievable) quote from Switchfoot, and, like always, it speaks for me in a way i could never imagine...

"The Beautiful Letdown is about real life: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's an honest attempt to reflect on the great and terrible aspects of being human, the tension of existence. A lot of people run away from this tension because the problems in our world are too hard to face. But the tension of being human is where we live and think and breathe. In fact, the very lowest moments in our lives are when we stand toe to toe with the truth about ourselves and our world. The way I see it, hope means nothing at all if hope doesn't reach to the core of our need. The Beautiful Letdown is where meaning and hope invade our greatest and worst moments. The Beautiful Letdown is where we live, who we are, and where the future begins."

Read the Rest HERE.

ap calc test today! wasnt too bad!
ap lit tomorrow! hope i dont blank!

is somewhat of a depressing entry...I'm so sorry to all. Why? i keep asking myself, am I about to push the "Post & Publish" button....whywhywhywhywhy? But perhaps if you read it you will know why I did write it here. Or don't read it. I don't know...perhaps any of you have felt the same way? i write. im a writer...for the masses? i dont know.

so. overthinking. unanimously, a bad choice. don't know why I don't learn. gah....there i go, bringing it all back on myself. but its selfish to blame things on other people.

SHUT UP BECKY

"think""don't think""why do you think this?""don't think about it too much""analyze this""you analyze it too much""try to forget it""don't let it out of your mind""this is important""why do you always forget?""achieve it all""its ok if you can't do everything""do as much as you can""everything has to be perfect""do more""don't do so much""try your best""your best isn't good enough""be happier""how can you lie like that?""you're such a horrible person""think of everyone else""can't you have some time for you?""you're so good at it""you're so pretty""how can you be so fake?""but you love it""but they're there for you""don't burden them with your problems, selfish bitch""what could be your problem?""God's given you everything...see how you treat it""He'll forgive me...He loves me"

hi

today was...i don't really know. am overthinking, i think.

gah!

was highly entertained today while going to school. was in line at stoplight and was bored and was watching girl in car behind me. she seemed to have gotten a text message because she looked at her phone and then smiled like crazy and "jumped" up and down and clapped her hands. then later "Burn" by Usher came on and she sang along with a wide open mouth and I laughed.


well, i finished my essay. turned out better than I thought. Perhaps someday you will read it.

today took an ap lit practice test. was v. interesting, as had read two passages from it already. hopefully can improve insight even more.

which reminds me....still have to analyze that poem for homework...

blah. heres a great song, have been meaning to post it. didnt want to publish it yesterday, but today i thought it would be appropriate...but am not entirely sure why. am confusing myself, and i can't really feel like i can publish why here...for internal reasons and my overthinking fear of regret. and believe me, the date is entirely coincidental...

"Independence Day" by Brave Saint Saturn

You're biting your lip now,
I know 'cause you do it all the time.
You're blinking your eyes hard,
I know 'cause you used to be mine.
You're strong and resilient,
Beautiful and brilliant,
Proving that you're free,
Independently.
You say, you still love me,
But I'm your own worst enemy.

Independence Day,
Second of May,
Lost my best friend and a fiancé',
So I will hold this candle high.
Independence Day,
Nothing I could say,
Could sway you not to sever ties,
Your liberty can't rest on lies.

Francisco Goya,
Painted it gay,
I'd rather have been shot,
On the Third Of May.
Freedom never came for free,
Patriots are bleeding their veins clean,
That's me in the corner,
Singing "God Save the Queen",
God save the queen.

I can think of better synonyms for fear,
I hope your life is great I hope it's been a wonderful year.
Waiting every day,
Staring at the phone,
Jesus Christ, I feel so empty and alone.

tired = random

wow, the last time I blogged was Thursday which seems like an eternity ago.

Prom was soooooo much fun :-) Thanks Alex!

ever seen Beyonce in Austin Powers 3? my hair looked like that after i took it out of my 'do. it was quite hilarious. as aforementioned, am tired. was studying for ap calc test today and i couldn't stay awake. Unfortunately (or is it fortunately, so i would study?) i was at the library. what a shame there is no sleeping allowed in such a quiet place.

little eleven year old sisters can be ANNOYING.

I know. I will miss it terribly when I leave.