I always feel lazy on Monday mornings. Especially today since school's not in session for PSD 150 and I didn't go tutor. Its nearly eleven and yes, I'm still in my pajamas.

I feel like I make up for it all of the mornings I'm up before eight.

Anyway, I'm subconsciously addicted to this song called "Grace Kelly" by Mika. Apparently everybody and their uncle loves this song in the UK, and its almost too infectious. But he reminds me of Freddie Mercury and he's singing very happily about being himself.

I'm on the brink of saying something profound. Not yet.

I like discovering the meanings to the word "happy." Maybe I'll list it as an "Interest" on facebook.

On an unrelated (?) note I tried to organize the bottom of my closet today and realized how many bags I have. I found my summer purses to which I exclaimed, "Oh! My pink purse! I forgot about that!" quite delightfully.

I was so excited to get back to a structured schedule. Now my schedule keeps conflicting with itself. Whats happening here?

Like my mom told me yesterday, "you might take two steps forward and then a step back."

Steps back suck.

It was in Starbucks yesterday that I remembered why I'm here and why I'm alive.

And I won't forget what's happened. It's yet another thing that made me the person I am now. And I have no interest to forget myself again.

...and I'm figuring out THAT'S what love is. its being there for someone no matter what they are going through and whether they feel like they need you or not and not letting go. it's wanting to be there and not a duty or an obligation in a sense, but you're there because you love them. and you try the best you can despite whatever is going on in your life. love is not feelings of inadequacy or like you're not good enough for something. it's not apathy, its not self-interest, its not sticking to your own thoughts and rules. it is about allowing yourself to be changed and the belief you can have an impact on the people you love (1/25/07)

I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want a heart that I know is beating,
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding