hi.

well, its 1:30 ish. i have to get up to take my sister to camp in about seven hours. but i need to settle down.

i went shopping in chicago, and spent a load of money on clothes and stuff. but i haven't been shopping, like, all summer. but i went to Wal-Mart tonite and got a four dollar tee-shirt and ten dollar red sweatpants. my mother graciously picked up the cost, but i was just sooo excited about this fourteen dollar outfit. maybe even more than those cute Nine West slides. aah!

more proof that i am a real idiot: while trimming my eyebrows, i trimmed too much. now i have half an eyebrow above my left eye. pffshhhh

my room is a mess once again. i just don't feel like cleaning it. as a matter of fact, there's a lot of stuff i don't feel like doing. i should make a TO DO list, then a list of stuff i dont want to do. the dont want to do list would cancel out the TO DO list, and then some.
but i did vacuum my car out today. so that's something.

just as all things involving money are taken care of, right?

uhh, sure.

life is quite fluid-like. and yet i feel stuck. well, actually, i feel both. i dont feel upset or extremely frustrated or completely apathetic, just a bit bemused. and maybe a bit more cynical than usual. i dont like it that i keep thinking i'm in the "right" spot, then a while passes and i realize that it wasn't as "right" as i thought it was. whatever "right" is.

i enjoyed the clients so much today at work. little B. has the cutest little giggle, P. was wild child but said my hair was "cute," and C. pretended to be Spongebob and we "pushed" each other into the pool.

*big smile*

time for bed.

Half of the time we're gone but we don't know where,
And we don't know here.
-simon&garfunkel

good grief, sonshine was amazing. i don't think i will ever look at hoses the same way, or appreciate water and gatorade so much. and oh yeah, the music freaking rocked.
!!!lalala!!!
it was great spending time with ilana, and i'm surprised we did not go insane by my sister and her friend, but they were still awesome anyway. and of course i got to know about fifty people nonverbally by being hot and sweaty and smothered up next to them. good times, good times!

my computer's wireless internet has not been working quite well at all, so i'm on the family's computer. this is good for quite a few reasons. for kicks, i'll elaborate.

1.today i wasn't late for work!
2.i'm not constantly kicked offline by using fam computer thus causing less frustration!
3.i'm not downloading free music like a madwoman!

i guess that wasn't as fun as i had hoped. but i guess if you want to laugh, click here. you might have to have iTunes for it to work. but hahahahaha!

i need to go to bed.

i am going to SONSHINE til next Sunday. so don't expect any posts from the tent OK?!?!

kelli, consider this your postcard. with images from the unbelievable Switchfoot, Falling Up, Relient K, Roper, and Audio Adrenaline.

now, its time for me to clear all the packing crap from my bed and go to sleep. i'm still working tomorrow, after all.

HOOYAH!

happy birthday angie!

i was told i have to post.

i woke up on saturday, and was quite startled to find that i didnt have to work that day. but then the question crossed my mind, what the heck am i going to do today??? but i enjoyed myself outside, gently acquiring a tan, tossing a frisbee, and coaxing my iPod into working. (sad sniffle)

hmm...lets see. katie and i spent a weekend listening to live music. tonite we saw jessie lang, and she was good. and i survived both her and angie throwing grass at me. you sickos.

after the big reunion on friday, i am now even more excited for sonshine. and of course, it was fantastic seeing ilana.

we're leaving in mere hours!

i should probably go to bed now...see if i'm really tired. work tomorrow. already?!

and i'm not going to do this always, but in the spirit of kelli's return tomorrow, i am doing a quote of the day. and the day was last thursday.

k: aww becky, i can't dunk you in the pool today
b: uhh do it tomorrow
k: but i won't be here
b: KELLI!
k: yeah, well, you're going to be gone for like a MONTH next week

because they don't seem to be putting any art up, i made my own. sorta.

WOO!

thats up just because i reeely wanted to try the new picture hosting blogger does, and because you have to see the smoky picture of our Grand Finale. and it was Grand, let. me. tell. you.

anyways, you know those rare times that you feel like your life makes sense? and theres a chance you may not live your life in complete confusion? i am finding myself in that humbling state of euphoria. but i'll elaborate later, because i am spent.

first off, allow me to commend kelli and the city of stewartville on the fun 4th of july festivities. they were a blast!
grand finales are awesome. even when you can't breathe :-)

so, i was able to go party because i am feeling better...not totally, but i am certainly approaching "healthy." lots of thanks to friends for the "get better"'s.

i was quite impressed with myself this morning because its currently 11 am-ish, and i am showered and dressed for work. all of last week i was scrambling to get my stuff ready and then leaving way late. no more! i got the motivation to get up and shower. of course, my computer has had a part in the distraction process, so changing it from distraction to reward is, well, rewarding.

heh heh heh

damn. i downloaded this song called "desperate" by the killers from the internet yesterday. and theres a good chance you have heard me freak out about it already. its nice and pianoey and not at all like the killers. well, i guess the lyrics could be. but ahhhhhh. am listening to it for the 10th time now.

and random trivia: my music library consists of 4 songs with the word "desperate" in it. huh

my quest to re-remove the word "hate" from my vocabulary is not going as well as i had hoped. at least i am conscious of when i say it, and being conscious could be the first step towards thinking ahead, and therefore finding an alternate way to say something.
its just my reasoning that i dont really "hate" it when the stoplight turns red and i'm in a hurry. its annoying, but i dont hold undescribable wrathful feelings towards the stoplight.
i used to be good about that, but now i'm not, so thats why i say "re-remove."

i had a dream last nite that wasn't very scary, but it was definitely a nightmare. but i am a bit scared.

is anybody else excited that blogger now hosts pictures?

but Hello! was fun too. hmm.

anyways, you know how i mentioned that i was out of commission, i.e. sounding like a strangled man in my last post? well it still applies...

*cue bad circus music*

its the AMAZING changable, enragable, VIRUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Yes, indeed, folks, this INCREDIBLE VIRUS shows symptoms varying from flu to cold to sinus infection to strep throat -- every day!

*more bad circus music*

Watch, as its victim suffers through seemingly an endless array of illnesses, complete with lost voice!!

and for the Grand Finale...

*drumroll*

there's nothing she can do about it! mwahahaha

*cymbalic TADA*

anyways, back to me, i won't sit here and pretend i'm not bitter, or better, for that matter. but i have regained a semi-use of my voice, and the proverbial resting is what i have been doing a lot of lately. but i am on the road to recovery, no fear. now i'll stop with the freaking SELF PITY.

was on facebook the other day and came across a profile with the year 2009. AAACK! THE FRESHMEN HAVE INFILTRATED FACEBOOK! RUN FO YO LIFE!

i've been listening to a lot of The Arcade Fire this morning. especially the new song "intervention," mmmm tasty.

i've been doing alot of mulling stuff over in my brain lately. i just have this fear that once i let it all spill out of my head it won't make sense anymore.

and i'm listening to more arcade fire now, and ilana, we both know how great this line is.

"between the click of the light and the start of the dream"