thoink. thoink.

huh.

well, i have a psych quiz tomorrow...i'm not really sure whats going to be on it...i tried studying. but what?
i guess tomorrow i'll at the very least i'll know what the quizzes are like, and we have about eleven of those.

my allergies have been hurting me. bloodshot eyes, sneezes, headache....blahhhhhhhhh.

and for some reason i was crabby today. i'm sorry.

alrighty. i'm back in class, i don't spend enough time outside, i have no money.

yeah. i'm back at school.

but i'm having fun. :-) i enjoy my room, my professors, seeing my friends, and being on my own schedule.

i have a job! now who needs a tutor...??

i got a cassette player, so i can listen to Talking Heads and Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. totally ghetto, but thats why i love it!

i also did something dumb and plunked down a few extra dollars for the new The New Pornographers album, Twin Cinema. BUT, i am totally obsessed with the album and it is THAT good...my audioscrobbler is reflecting this, and its not even counting the innumberable times i've played the cd in my cd player.

the freshmen are here, and i've met some! the ones i have met are all very nice...i've met some through CRU, and some through Special Olympics volunteering. that being said, i'm glad i'm getting more securely in extra-curriculars...i definitely do not miss that shallowness of relationships at the beginning of last year.

but are the relationships with the freshmen shallow ones? ok, ok, i guess they are...but you have to start somewhere. i'm IN now, after a year.

er, more talking in circles...
i'm glad that God has brought me back to Cru...i needed to hear the stuff the other night at the weekly meeting about just being myself. i had been thinking about all that i needed to believe, and finding what i believed...but maybe i knew all along.
i volunteered for Special Olympics bowling event this morning, quite early, but that is ok darlings...anyway, i felt home-ish. i'm always amazed how excited the disabled get about bowling...totally serious! now imagine this on fifty lanes; the place was huuuuuge. anyways, i didn't know that in tournament bowling you switched between two lanes, so initially i was very, very lost. best feeling was that there was this man with Downs that i wasnt sure how good his vision was (he could see, but i am still not sure how well), so i held his hand and guided him to pick out his bowling ball and direct him to the right lane. he never said anything, but one time i felt someone standing next to me and realized it was him, slipping his hand into mine. and sometimes when we were waiting for his ball to be returned, he would kind of lean his head towards me.
he made me smile.

anyways i came back to the room and crashed for two hours, just ask jessica.

are we getting dizzy from talking in circles yet?

i'm calming down from that New Pornographers SUGAH HIIIIII! and am now listening to Badly Drawn Boy (most specifically, Life Turned Upside Down; you know how amazing these lyrics are) but i am going to quote Embrace tonite. think like another Coldplay. (how many more of those are we going to get? these guys are pretty good though...) anyways. these lyrics seem to fit right now.

Baby, It's been a long time waiting
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling
No I can't stop now
And do you hear my heart beating?!
Ah can you hear that sound!?
Cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I, on you and I

i am sad today.

what a great summer. honestly.

it rained a lot today. isn't it nice, though, that no matter how dark the sky gets, and how much rain falls, the sun is still there in the end, and it's going to come again tomorrow.

til peoria, over and out.

i've started packing, and the hallway outside my room is full of crap that i need to haul in our family's minivan down to peoria. and if you get a speedy start, you can dodge everything in the hallway in three carefully placed bounds! and as usual i'm getting stuck in stuff that i really should have gotten rid of at the beginning of the summer (which i recall doing some of...apparently not enough, or i'm less attatched to some of crap)

i'm also feeling fat and pasty, and its not even november. i guess two days of no pool is catching up with me, eh?
meehhhh

i started playing Nancy Drew computer game that Kelli leant me, and i can just tell its going to be hard. i'm up to the challenge, i think...as long as taking a latin course isn't required. haha, then again, i could always cheat....but thats not my style

i'm using this fantastic shuffle feature of iTunes, its the Party Shuffle, and it randomly picks songs and you can either keep em or take them off the list; and when the song is playing, its entry in the list lights up as really pretty blue. the shuffle comes up with songs i wouldnt have picked for myself, but when i see them on the list, i'll listen to it. i guess i have to have some guidance with a library the size of mine. and its not even that big. but see progress at my audioscrobbler.
and just between you and me, i think my iTunes loves Audio Adrenaline. i'm currently listening to the third AudioA song this afternoon. not that thats a bad thing, my iTunes has good taste...what can i say?!

i was quite pleased with the response i got to my last post about camp quotes, maybe i'll even publish a book. but i forgot (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!!??!?) some of the best quotes of the whole entire summmer!

"and i was like, 'whats the rush?'"
AAAAAAND
"WHO'S YOUR MOM?!?!?

haha, that last one, which i heard probably two hundred times over the course of the summer, is some funny combination of "who's your daddy" and a "yo mama" joke. HAHAHAHA

alright and here's my official answer to "are you excited for going back to school?"
its yes, i'm pumped to experience changes and emotions and goodbyes and hellos and pressure and freedom and everything that makes life dizzying and sad and happy and thrilling and difficult. because its all mashed together into something beautiful in the end.

AH! just realized "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" my second favorite Arcade Fire song has shown up on the Party Shuffle, and it won't be long before its a bright blue! now i must get back to the chaos in the hallway, and make some sense of it (but hey, i was paid all summer to deal with chaos, and THAT chaos ran all over the place and often screamed at me "WHO'S YOUR MOM!!") but i'll leave you with a quote from a song that showed up earlier on my list, and i've vowed to listen to this band more this year.

i guess it's time for a change i never wanted a change i think it's time for a change. -murder by death "intergalactic menopause"

hrmm hrmmm hrrmmmm....

lets see. two days of summer camp left. two more days of...

-two becky's (HAHA kelli)
-"you got cousins? i had chicken last night for dinner. i need to go home tonite."
-anybody got any gloves?
-katie punched me -- again
-"i'm screaming. i'm hurting your ears"
-"lets color. (or swing. or play in the sand. or kick the ball. or play with the blocks.)"
-QUICK! THE DOMINOS!
-"we do not HIT our friends"
-"we've had some complaints..."
-oh boy! more painting for crafts
-DAMMIT I'M "IT" AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
-look! he's actually sitting at a table!!
-"that...that...thats enough...let go of me...just a high five...JUST A HIGH FIVE!!!!"
-"becky, you were probably distracted..."
-um, i need a kleenex...for his whole face...and hands...
-aw shit. more goose shit.
-"i not know how!" For the fifth hundred time!
-"umm...he can't ride with me; i don't have child safety locks"
-"you have that leprosy disease rash again..."
-who's YOUR buddy?

coworkers, i would love more in the comments. ;-)

but soon i have to leave that behind and present myself in the similar way that i left school in May. i've changed, and i feel like so many people are banking on me being the same way i used to be; if it was genuine or not i'm still not sure. it scares me, to be honest...why does it have to be so complicated?

sigh...on a less depressing note, so many good albums are coming out in the upcoming months...ilana and i were discussing this the other day. i need to get it all out so i don't forget...

The New Pornographers-Aug 23
Death Cab for Cutie-Aug 30
Sigur Ros-September 12
Switchfoot-September 13

it seems like there are more. but four is still impressive to remember in my head!!

remember that awesome Sigur Ros quote from last time? check out this thing i found at their website...


handritten from the author. awesome.

anyways, the real quote for today is this...from my dear friends Switchfoot.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

what uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.

the only reason i'm updating is because i want to add "August 2005" to the right of my blog. and not because katie keeps asking me. bahahahaha.

speaking of katie, i hope you get better soon. miserableness is a state i hate to see you in.

went to the mall of america today, and actually found a pair of fitting pants and a Brand New shirt. well, sure its brand new, but its a Brand New shirt.

in another stellar segway, this website is modeled after a Brand New song, and i just decided on Friday that i should change the colors. i'm impressed these lasted this long. its just so....cold. i am waiting for inspiration.

sigh, what else what else. i'm still in a state of mixed confusion, in case you thought i gained a sense of composure or something sensible like that.

last week of work. very sad.

i got a new iPod today, because my poor previous one's battery is dead (as part of Apple's battery replacement program). i have a replacement third-generation new iPod, lacking scratches (and all my songs, for that matter). i felt a pang of panic and loss as the MacGenius at the Mac store replaced my old iPod in the box that the new iPod came in. i didn't even have a chance to say goodbye, or reflect on the times that i would lay in bed, quite sad, and just listen to it.
good old friend.
now my new one is still loading up, down to about The White Stripes in my music library. maybe i'll try it out tonite.

and here's lyrics from Sigur Rós. JEEZ

"Það Besta Sem Guð Hefur Skapað
Er Nýr Dagur"
("the best thing God has created is a new day")
-Viðrar Vel Til Loftárása