Oh, poo.

I stayed up way too late working on that project that I was procrastinating on yesterday. Now I have to go read a chaper so I can take a final tomorrow.

Come on, Becky, only one more day.

It honestly doesn't seem like three weeks, much less an entire semester's work.

I also am headed back home, this means, and while I am looking forward to that, I'm going to miss being totally irresponsible, and by that I mean taking my own time on my own schedule to be totally responsible. My gawd, I'm an adult. Sort of.

My parents who support me would highly beg to differ.

It's going to be like returning to reality. But maybe its a different reality? I dont know. Returning to my room where there's a ton of crap laying all over the place of a person I've outgrown the skin of. I get the feeling its not going to be like it used to, like when I went home and wrestled with the two seemingly different people I was; now it's like how do I take this person and fit it in where I came from.
Picture me trying to squeeze into that one tshirt. Yeah, it's kind of like that. And this tshirt I'm wearing now is a bit fitted and cozy but I'm still getting used to the idea of it. Maybe I'll even put a sweater on.

Maybe now I'm getting carried away with the metaphors.

I've also been getting into deeper cuts of The Weepies, including singles by Deb Talan when she was on her own that we saw them play in St. Paul. Hearing her sing those words with that kind of feeling behind them makes her totally believable; it's like you can hear the experience in her voice. And I LIKE that. She's been added to my list of "Women Who Rock," by the way.

Also, I busted my Bishop Allen CD out today like a "busted heart," and man, did I enjoy that. It was impossible for me to not sing along, seriously.

And I'm tired. Of a lot of things. Or maybe I'm just tired.

Time to go read about comprehensive literacy programs.

Came down on a bottle rocket
Found my heart right where I locked it
Last night like rain on chalk
It's gone like money in my pocket.

You could say I'm procrastinating, but I'd prefer the term "maintaining my blog," thanksverymuch.

Sigh, I'm getting through my May Term Class. It's been nice having only one class to concern myself with. I 've had four projects, and they kind of take awhile, and I've been learning a lot.

Also, living alone in an apartment has been kind of a fun fun experience. For example...

*no one's there to procrastinate with when I need to do homework!
*that noise I hear at night couldn't POSSIBLY be someone else!
*the TV is never on! even though there's no TV cable!
*the bathroom is completely WHITE!
*i can leave dirty dishes around!
*i dont have to be too ashamed about my cluttered room!
*i can play my music really loud at night!
*i can get bored and discover things like www.askaninja.com and et cetera.

It's been really great to have visitors. And for that reason, I'm really glad I stuck around this town a little bit longer. :-)

And of course, the road trip this past weekend was phenomenal. Thankfully, I drove through Chicago without anything disasterous! I was kind of worried about that...

I still keep thinking about tolerance. TOLERANCE. I think I am thinking about it in more of...different?...terms.

Boy, that's really descriptive.

I just wish liberals weren't coined as "do whatever the heck YOU want." Because honestly, it's not like that.

Is that funny I came back to my room just to empty my garbage can out? Hmm...

We'll be searching for the truth in all of this
are we debating just to win the argument?

Well then. Wasn't that fun.

And by "that," I mean sophomore year. And moving everything out that comprised my room for the year.

A few things are a little MIA, but maybe that means they are in Carly's garage. I guess I'll find out Monday.

I was kind of having a sucky day yesterday, but then I heard that country song from a long time ago, one that I might actually dig?

And it's a great day to be alive
I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes
There's hard times in the neighborhood
But why can't everyday be just this good?

I threw away two garbage bags of crap from my room today. That felt nice.

And now, experience what I think of every time I hear the word "carrots."

<3 youtube and Sesame Street!

I'm tired and kind of fed up with not being productive, but I wanted to do this.

Mandy looked at me tonight at Jester's and said, "I can't believe I'm going home in two days."
Yeah, that is kind of weird.
Maybe because I'm coming back here in a week. And maybe I'm such a right-here-right-now-oriented person. But yeah, I can't really understand that.

I took all of my pictures off of my bulletin board, so now there's no Switchfoot, cousins, or red car looking back at me. But there is STILL a ton of crap on my desk. Including my science notebook, which I had the best intentions of opening and writing in tonight.

Ahh, intentions.

However...

I came to school this year with the intention of "making my faith my own." I wasn't sure if this was "wrong," or selfish, or making things the way I wanted them to be, but that was what I wanted. And...wow.

I came here in the fall as a feisty and resentful fighter, finally sick of people telling me how my faith should be. This was turning into the Catholic ordeal all over again, and I hated it. I was angry for not being myself, and and the same time stuck and not knowing where to go.
Thankfully, God led me where I needed to be, subtly hidden in people and happenstance situations. I'm glad HE can put up with how obstinate I can be.
But yeah. After reacquainting myself with where I should be, I took that mission to heart. I discussed with people, tested what happened to me, learned a ton about teaching, failed, experienced, learned, shared experiences, held on to what I believed for sure, listened, considered, remembered that rock and roll is in my soul, stayed out late, dared to meet new people, dared to move. And the person I needed to be seemed to be conglomerating with who I know I am.
Granted, it wasn't a perfect year, but things are turning out all right. Action, moving in the right direction.

And now, incidentally, I need to go brush my teeth.

So, I only posted once in April. Awful?

A lot of stuff has happened. Good, bad, and both disguised as the other.

Right now I have a room to pack and a few finals to prepare for. And a run to go on.

In the midst of everything, I really should just be raising my eyes to the sky and repeatedly speaking, "thank you"